I am now helping women from all over the world to successfully recover from eating issues and poor body image but it hasn’t always been the case. Here is a bit more about my own bulimia recovery story…
During 15 years of my life, I’ve struggled with full-blown bulimia until I hit rock bottom and had to choose between totally destroying the poor health condition I had left or fighting to finally recover.
It all started when I was 13. Like many young girls, I was not very self-confident and developed a fear of others’ judgment. I was afraid of not being good enough, of not being pretty enough and thus not being loved and accepted.
I was so scared that I would have done anything to make sure people would love me and I quickly realised that one of the only things I could control in my relation with others was the way I looked. So, I started to control my weight by restricting my food intake, a bit more everyday. I thought that if I could control my weight, I would be able to control my life and the way people will look at me.
I was clearly looking for love and happiness in people’s eyes, in the way I looked, in a number on a scale.
So I started to restrict a lot until I was just unable to keep depriving my body like that. Eventually, my body started to force me eating to compensate this famine and I quickly got stuck in this vicious cycle of bingeing and purging.
It became even more painful when I realised that I’d lost control and couldn’t stop behaving like that. I was feeling horribly guilty and shameful about my behaviour and my relationship with food. On top of that my health started to degrade seriously.
At age 24-25, I started to have serious health issues. My teeth were in a so bad state that they started to break. I couldn’t even eat an apple because it was too painful (and I told to everyone this was because I didn’t like apples!).
I had anaemia and my nose bled heavily every single day (especially after purging). I also started to loose my hair very seriously and experienced paralysis in my face, hands and arms more and more frequently due to a lack of electrolytes. My heartbeat was irregular and it goes without saying that I didn’t have my periods anymore.
I saw many doctors for these issues and none of them has ever asked me if I was eating properly. None of them were able to link my poor health condition to nutrition.
There was (and still is) an obvious lack of knowledge regarding these illnesses in the modern medicine. I had already spent a year in psychotherapy, taking anti-depressants and all I got was iron tablets and a very expensive hair lotion that didn’t work…
This was definitely not the solution. I was looking for help and guidance, but no one was able to show me the way.
I was clearly working on my own destruction day after day and it all started to look pretty bad.
However, at the bottom of my heart, I knew there was something better waiting for me.
At 27, I hit rock bottom. I had to do something if I wasn’t willing to die like that. But external help was totally un-existing and, despite its support, my family was unable to properly understand my issue and its impact. The only person I could rely on was myself and I quickly realised I had to gain a bit more strength if I wanted to do something. That’s how I started my extraordinary recovery journey…
Eating disorders are such complex illnesses that even modern medicine doesn’t understand them fully. That’s why so many intelligent people get stuck in this kind of vicious cycle. They just don’t know how it works.
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And yet, to recover, I had to fully understand what’s going on. I had to address the different areas of my life that contributed to my illness. I had to learn about health and nutrition but also self-love and acceptance, yoga, body energy flows and so much more. But most importantly, I had to learn how to reprogram my brain to change my deep-rooted destructive behaviours.
This was definitely not an easy thing but from far the best and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I am now free. I can enjoy a beautiful meal with my loved ones and all the little things life has to offer. I am now able to take care of myself, I feel good in my body and have healthy relationships with food, myself and others, even probably more than the average person. On top of that, I am no longer wasting my money on binge food and I don’t have to lie to my family anymore.
I am now happier than ever and I deeply believe that EVERYONE deserves this healthy life of freedom, wellbeing and happiness.
If this sounds familiar and if you too, you know there is something brighter waiting for you, don’t waste another day!
Check out the Make Peace With Food online program and my 1:1 bulimia recovery coaching program, which are helping women from all over the world become the healthiest and happiest versions of themselves or contact me today if you have any questions.
I am here to help you get your life back!
