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When I was recovering from my lifelong battle with bulimia, the hardest moments (after getting cold turkey from my sugar addiction) were these months when I was juggling between feeling awesome and relapsing.


Each time I relapsed, I was getting super frustrated and angry at myself for being so ‘weak’. How could I waste all these weeks of peace and freedom for one stupid and painful binge?


It actually took me a few months to realise that I was not weak, but that instead relapses were meant to happen as long as I would keep reproducing the same mistakes.


And today I want to share the most common ones with you, so you can avoid losing all these precious months of freedom and health.



Here are the 5 most common mistakes that are holding you back in eating disorder recovery:



1. All or nothing mindset


Your ‘all or nothing‘ or ‘black and white‘ mindset is typical for someone having an eating issue.

You want to do the very best for you and as soon as you’ve taken a bad step, you just want to throw everything by the window.


This is normal. Many people behave this way. The problem is that – even though you’re trying to be the healthiest version of yourself – this behaviour is not healthy at all!


Nothing is black or white in life. Everything is in the middle – in the grey scale. This is why being able to stay in the grey scale or even to touch the white and the black from time to time without feeling guilty or being hard on yourself is absolutely essential!


This is only when you will feel ok with that that you’ll be able to accept how life works and basically be ok when things are not 100% perfect (they never are).


Start to be more flexible on this point and realise that it’s not because things don’t turn out exactly as you planned that your day is ruined. At the same time, it’s not because you’ve indulge a bit too much that you’re going to put 5 kilos on and that it’s a good excuse to throw all your efforts by the window. (And pssst… we all eat or indulge a bit too much from time to time. It’s a natural behaviour, so it’s a good idea to learn to be ok with that).


You have to train yourself to become more flexible with this mindset.


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2. Keeping restricting your food intake


As long as you will follow strict dietary rules or restrict your food intake, you will starve yourself (on a physical and/or mental level).


Starving your body and brain is not supporting anything and at one stage, your body will be stronger than your mind and… you will end up binging and relapsing.


A starved brain can’t think straight.

So by keeping restricting or dieting, you are setting yourself up for failure. If you want to get better, you have to start re-nourishing your body and mind. Are you still a bit confused about where to get started? Structured eating will definitely help you. Check all the details about that here.


Do you enjoy what you’re reading? Sign up for free mini coaching videos here.


3. Thinking you don’t want to get better


Your eating disorder mindset is like your mean girl’s voice, your ego. They are mean, vicious and very sneaky. Just to keep you in your comfort zone, they will make you think anything. And sometimes, the most crazy things ever!


Because… of course you want to get better!


If it was not the case, you’d feel great after binging and/or purging. If you didn’t want to get better, you’d probably recommend to your friends, kids and family to start binging and purging as well because it’s so great, right?


But we all know it’s not the case!


Obviously you want to get better and be your optimal, healthiest and happiest self. So next time you hear this kind of mean thinking, just tell your eating disorder mindset, your mean girl, your ego or however you want to name it… to shut it up!


Do you enjoy what you’re reading? Sign up for free mini coaching videos here.


4. Not being able to cope with certain emotions


Not being able to cope with certain emotions or situations, especially painful ones is one of the biggest problems in healing from an eating issue.


Frustration, sadness, stress or even happiness or joy can be transformed in urge to eat if not allowed to be experienced fully.


I know, this can be tricky. In fact, most people don’t experience their own emotions properly. Instead it’s easier to reach for a glass of wine, a cup of coffee, a sugar fix or even a computer or social media fix.


But when your ‘fix’ has become too destructive, it means it’s time to allow the pain to flow fully through your body, sit with the discomfort and let it out. You might need to scream or punch a pillow instead – or best express it – but it will always be better than getting back to your old destructive patterns.


Do you enjoy what you’re reading? Sign up for free mini coaching videos here.


5. Giving up too early


When it comes to addictive patterns, it’s now proven that our brain reacts with the same neuronal mechanisms as for habits. Addictions then being very bad and destructive habits.


But one thing is for sure: as soon as you repeat the addictive behaviour, you reactivate the neuronal pathways. This is why giving up too early or using this horrible excuse “just one last time” never works and actually reactivates the whole mechanism!


It’s the same with all addictions (cigarets, drugs, alcohol, etc…). We all know that one last drink or one last cigaret will never be the last. (because you reactivate the neuronal pathways responsible for this behaviour). Well, it’s the exact same with food.


But we also know that what you don’t use, you lose, especially when it comes to your brain cells. This is why, each time you don’t act on a binge, you erase a bit more your destructive habit.


If you end up not acting on the urges for a while, you will see that at one stage, the urges won’t happen anymore. You will then be free from your destructive pattern/addiction! And this is when the magic happens.


Can you relate to that?

What is the mistake that needs the most focus for you?


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