How Hitting Rock Bottom Saved My LifeRead about my own bulimia recovery story and discover how hitting rock bottom saved my life...
How Hitting Rock Bottom Saved My Life
When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.Viktor Frankl
At 26 I hit rock bottom. I’d been struggling with full-blown bulimia since I was 13, and my health was strongly degrading.
My teeth started to break, I was anaemic, had amenorrhea, lost my hair, lacked electrolytes, and my heartbeats were irregular.
I started to see many doctors about all these issues, but none of them asked me if I was eating properly. I didn’t understand properly this system at that time but now, when I look back, I am able to see how crazy that might sound. No doctor in our modern medicine was able to link my poor health to food and nutrition. All I got from them was some pills and an expensive hair lotion that didn’t work.
However, deep inside I knew my health problems were linked to my lifelong struggles with bulimia. I had already spent a year in psychotherapy, taking anti-depressants and ‘working on myself’, but this was definitely not the solution.
I was looking for help and guidance, but no one was able to show me the way. I had two choices: keep ignoring my illness, stay in my comfort zone, and keep working on my own destruction; or finally face my problem and do something about it.
I knew which option I had to choose if I didn’t want to die, but I also knew this wasn’t the easiest choice. I was the only person I could rely on. Medical help wasn’t working, and despite their support, my loved ones didn’t understand the seriousness of the illness and what I was going through.
Hitting rock bottom was actually the best thing that could happen to me at that stage. This was a big calling telling me “Wake up girl. When will you get enough? Nobody can help you; you are the only one responsible for your own life.”
At the bottom of my heart, I knew something brighter was waiting for me. I knew there must be more to this life than destroying myself day after day.
Of course, this was not easy. Recovering from an eating disorder doesn’t happen overnight, and this was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced.
Eating disorders are such complex illnesses that even modern medicine doesn’t understand them fully. That’s why so many intelligent people get stuck in this kind of vicious cycle. They just don’t know how it works.
And yet, to recover, you have to fully understand what’s going on. You have to address the different areas of your life that contributed to your illness such as your childhood, your relation to food, your diet mentality, your relation to yourself, others and to the world.
You have to review the way you process information from your external environment. You have to re-learn how to eat, what it feels to be hungry or to be full. You have to learn to set healthy boundaries, to value and love yourself.
So, I read all I could find about the subject. I studied holistic health and nutrition, but I also discovered self-love, yoga, body energy flows, and so much more. Most importantly, I had to learn how to reprogram my brain to change my deep-rooted destructive behaviors. This was definitely a long term process including different techniques and self-work such as self-hypnosis, self-love work and mindfulness.
Recovery is one of these life processes that you can’t fail unless you give up. There were happy days as well as darker ones. It wasn’t easy everyday to keep your chin up, but I knew light was at the end of the tunnel.
Today I am happy to say that I am totally free and recovered. I am also happier than ever before. I am helping women from all over the world to successfully recover from their eating issues, and it’s an incredible gift to see them improving.
If I hadn’t hit rock bottom and decided to take responsibility for my own life, health, well-being, and happiness, I would probably still be struggling with food, trying to avoid my own life, waiting for something or someone to rescue me.
I now know this is not an option. Nobody can take care of yourself except you. Nobody can make you feel good, happy, or healthy. You are the only responsible for your own feelings, your own life and happiness.
I am actually so grateful for all these years of struggles and darkness. I am now able to see how this challenge has been an incredible gift.
Everyone is different; everyone has its own story and its own journey but whatever you are facing, keep faith. Trust there is a better way than fighting against yourself day after day. Life is not meant to be like that.
Trust your feelings, follow your heart and never be afraid to ask for help because people have been there before and they can show you the way out.
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Make Peace With Food
A powerful program to heal your relationship with food and stop binge eating once and for all.