How To Be Happy & Erase Destructive Patterns…
No question about this: there is no room for destructive patterns in happiness.
When you know how to be happy, or – at least – how to cultivate happiness, you’ll automatically notice that your destructive patterns (or destructive emotions such as anger, jealousy, etc.) will naturally fade away without even forcing it.
I am sure you’ll agree when I say that bulimia, binge eating, addictions or any other self-destructive behaviours are not part of a happy life.
They are all tricking you in the fact that you think they will make you feel good at first by activating the reward system in our brain, but we all know that – on the medium and long term – they will just be destructive and make us feel miserable. That’s why most people are looking to STOP these behaviors.
Today I want to share with you the number one thing your have to understand in order to be happy, erase destructive patterns and behaviors that are not serving you (and yes, that includes eating too much crappy food in secret).
It all starts in your mind. And here is how it works…
1. An event or situation happens, which triggers…
2. Some specific thoughts (judgment, perception, beliefs, etc), which triggers…
3. EMOTIONS = energy in motion, sensations, the way you feel (sadness, anger, boredom, loneliness, discomfort, etc), which triggers…
4. YOUR ACTIONS and behaviors, OR… eventually some ILLNESS
The truth is that a given thing only exists because you observe it (or because of the way you observe it). If you don’t, this specific thing is just not part of your reality and thus, doesn’t impact you. As Einstein said:
Reality is in the eye of the beholder.
- Albert Einstein
So, a given thing / situation / or event acquires some importance only because you allow it to, by the way you perceive it. Basically nothing has any importance or impact unless you allow it to have a certain place in your mind.
That means that if something makes you want to binge on junk food, lit a cigaret, or pour yourself a glass of wine, this is because some THOUGHTS have triggered some FEELINGS making you want to ACT upon them this way…
But you have a choice. The choice to question the feelings and the thoughts that are at the root of your actions. Often, just the fact of simply challenging your thoughts and changing them will change the way you feel and the way you behave.
As Deepak Chopra explains it in his great book “The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success“. We are infinite choice makers. For example, if I’d pay you a compliment, you’re conditioned to feel a certain way (most likely being pleased or flattered). If I would insult or offend you, you’d most likely be offended.
But think about it for a moment… IT’S STILL A CHOICE!
I could insult you and you could make the choice of not being offended. On the opposite, I could give you a compliment and you could make the choice of not being flattered.
This pretty powerful concept – that could explain our whole life – will make you understand how you create your reality and how you can change it, from the root.
I won’t lie, this takes time and practise! But if you commit to be more MINDFUL about this, I promise you won’t have to suffer or feel miserable any more. This will not only help you erase the root cause of your destructive patterns, may it be around food or otherwise. It will also help you change anything that doesn’t serve you anymore (such as anger or jealousy)!
When you understand that everything starts in your mind, you understand that it’s YOUR responsibility to change. In order to change the way you feel and the way you behave, you have to start by changing the thoughts that create the feelings that trigger the behaviors you want to avoid.
As I’ve discussed with Kathryn Hansen in this interview – you can truly learn how to detach from your thoughts and decide to stop acting upon them. To us, this is when true freedom is created.
** This week, I’d love if you could commit to be more mindful about how you choose your thoughts and create your feelings. I am sure you’ll be blown away at how this can have a positive impact in your life! **
What do YOU think? Is it something you can relate to?
Have you ever tried this? Share your comments & insights below…
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