Setting healthy boundaries is pretty important if you want to have a happy and fulfilling life.
I’ve learned the hard way when recovering form my lifelong battle with bulimia.
The key to recover was to put recovery as my top one priority.
In order to do that, I had to define my own healthy boundaries. I had to discover what was safe or not for me, what was my ‘non-negotiables’, what worked and what didn’t and most importantly, stick with it!
This was a pretty big challenge as I am a ‘Yes’ kind of person. I really had to learn to turn inwards to find my answers and say ‘No’ to people I really love.
Is this egoist? Absolutely not!
You are the only one responsible for your wellbeing and happiness. If you don’t do it, no one will do it for you. So enjoy the process and trust that this is beneficial for you and everyone else.
Here are 5 easy steps to set up healthy boundaries:
1. Acknowledge that putting yourself first is not egoist and is beneficial for everyone
By taking care of yourself and putting yourself first, you will feel better, be healthier and happier. You will have more energy to take care of others and this will create a ripple effect on your family and people around you.
What’s worse than a burned-out and exhausted girlfriend (or mum, or boyfriend) for example?
2. Put yourself first
Always put yourself first! Life is unexpectable and you will always have to make compromises, of course. So by always putting yourself first when you have a choice, you will avoid too much pressure on the long run.
Once you understand that you have to fill your own cup first to be able to give to others, everything will shift and become easier.
3. Set-up your ‘non-negotiables’ and respect them!
Make a complete list of your ‘non-negociables’. For example, I know that I need to practice yoga 4 times/week and move my body at least 20min/day. I know that I need at least 15min of total relaxation per day, etc. These are my ‘non-negociables’. I know if I don’t respect them for a little while, I am not going to feel as good as I could and I am not going to perform at my best.
4. Each time that something is coming your way ask yourself:
- Do I really want (to do, to see, to experience…) that?
- How will I feel afterwards?
- Will that make me happier?
If the answer is no to two of these questions, just don’t overthink it.
5. Once a week reflect on the past week and check in:
- What hasn’t gone well and what could you do to improve it?
- Then forgive yourself and let it go.
- Finally think about all the things that went well and that you are grateful for.
If you want results, you have to take action! So make a list of your non-negociables and share your top 3 in the comments below and let’s inspire others!